Dear Santa,

So I know it is now the wee-early-hours of Christmas Eve, but I wanted to write to you and say thank you. I realize the gift I requested (someone miraculously paying off all my student loans) may take some time and I must be patient (a talent I am willing to work on, though may be doomed to fail). But as I was driving home to Vernal this holiday season, I realized something Santa--I still believe!

The belief in you provides me hope and that is the greatest gift you could ever give me. This year has been rough (and I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself). As my friends tell me, I need to believe in myself and the accomplishments I have made this year. Though I might not have achieved all I would like in the world, I'm working on it.

And Santa, I just want to say... you rock. I will be listening for your sleigh bells as I do every year. And maybe if this year you can't provide the Christmas miracle of student loans being paid in full... well, maybe you could give each and every person a little more hope. Keep all our hope strong by allowing us all to hear your sleigh bells once more--as you let me when I was six.

A very Merry Christmas Santa. Safe travels.

That adult that will be a kid forever,
Denver

P.S. I know this isn't the typical method for letter delivery, but you being magical and living in the 21st century, and having elves that search for these things, I figured you have a way to find it.

P.P.S. Also, I was wondering if you could possibly get Danielle a pony, seeing as she really wants one. A Unicorn would be even better but I know those are hard to find. Thanks again Santa.

All Ablaze

There have been a few storms in my life as of late (personal and literal). As I continue to try and figure out my path the weather seems to be telling me, "Be prepared for anything."

On Sunday a huge wind storm blew through the Salt Lake area and when I got home late in the evening I found the wind decided to topple a portion of the fence that blockades my little duplex from the neighboring apartment. I wasn't too excited about this as there is one man that I find to be a bit crazy that lives in that apartment area, and I try to distance myself from him. But then last night the first snow storm hit and as I was cooped up in my bedroom at midnight when the annoying sound of my doorbell shock the whole house in multiple pounds.

Not knowing who would be ringing my bell that late at night, I tentatively walked down the stairs and sneakily looked out my doors window: Crazy man on my porch with cigarette in hand and I backed away, not wanting to open the door, wanting him to leave and leave me alone, I tried to pretend I didn't hear. But then the bell rang through the house again and I had to open the door.

What I saw was his face echoed in all his wrinkles and maddening eyes by the burning fire that was coming from the tree right next to my home. His comment, "You might want to move your car the tree is on fire." This was an under statement, as I ran to get my keys the light of the fire stretched through the windows and was flickering it's light to hit the surrounding houses and make the blanket frosted sky glow as if lightning bugs had overtaken the area.

My thought--get the cats, move the car, and hope for the best.

The snow storm helped and quickly put the fire out as the firemen sat in their truck staring at all of us watching the embers continue to fall from the tree and cascade upon the toppled fence. Power company arrived and it seemed all had passed, and as I woke this morning to the sound of chainsaws chopping the poor tree to pieces, I have to say I guess the crazy guy isn't that crazy after all.

Tasty Meatloaf

Ingredients:
1 Red Bell Pepper
1 Yellow Onion
1 Clove Garlic (Large)
1/2 c. Italian Bread Crumbs
1 6oz can Tomato Paste
1 egg
1 1/2 lbs. ground beef (lean)
salt and pepper

Chop pepper, onion, and garlic, add to a big mixing bowl. Add ground beef and tomato paste and mix together. Top with bread crumbs and egg and use hands to form together. Place the mixture into bread pan and squash down to fit. Place in 350*F oven for 1 hour or until fully cooked.

White Chocolate Cheesecake

One of my favorite desserts is cheesecake! I am always looking for new ways to adapt the classic recipe. So here is one that I came up with that my coworkers and I couldn't even wait for it to cool before eating. Sadly, no time to take a photo.

Crust:
1/3 c. Almonds (crushed)
2 c. Chocolate Graham Crackers (crushed)
3 T. butter melted

Mix together ingredients and press firmly to the bottom of a 9 x 2 3/4 spring form pan that has been greased. Allow the crust to cover a small portion of the sides of the pan. Bake in a 325*F. oven for approximately 10-15 minutes. Pull from oven and allow to cool while preparing cheesecake filling.

Filling:
3/4 c. white chocolate chips (melted)
5 8 oz. cream cheese packages
1 c. sugar
3 T. flour
1 T. vanilla paste (you can get this any cooking store and it works wonders, a bit bolder than extract)
1/2 c. sour cream
4 eggs (add one at a time when blending)

Center:
1/3 c. Raspberry preserves
1/4 c. white chocolate (lightly melted)

Begin filling by slowly melting the chocolate chips. With and electric mixer blend cream cheese, sugar, flour, and vanilla paste. Slowly added cooled melted chocolate while blending, then add sour cream and eggs one at a time). When the mixture is blended well add half the mixture to the crust in the spring form pan.
Take the Raspberry preserves and melted white chocolate and blend together. Dollop this mixture into the half of the filling poured into the spring form pan, top with remaining filling.
Place in oven at 325*F. for 45 minutes to an hour. Allow to cool and refrigerate for 1 to 3 hours (or over night). Cut and serve.

Odd Drive Home

I usually end up coming home late on Friday nights, seeing as I work late. Tonight I actually thought I left early enough to by pass the crazy people on the road. Only to find that odd people are around at every hour of the day. So what did I see on my short 10 minute drive home tonight.

1. Passenger in white car throws a nice puffy black jacket out window on 200 S. and 200 E. Car in front of me swerves to by pass it hitting the windshield, I swerve to not run over it. Car behind me also makes to not tire tread the sad coat.

2. Car that passenger threw coat out of pulls over only to not see the wonderful coat anywhere.

3. Pull up to 700 E. and the guy in the car next to me at the red light begins staring over at me. He looks like a gentlemen with a bit too much fashion since and for some reason I feel he is out of place in Utah and should be driving around in Italy. This may be because I feel he had a mix of Mafia and Oscar de la Renta style that seemed to shine off his curly mid length hair and was placed in a spot light from his huge bling of a watch.

4. By 900 E. this gentlemen and his red car are now in front of me, and I see the wonderful black puffy jacket, the sad white car was currently still looking for, attached to the Italian-Mafian, who lives in Utah cars muffler, which proceeds to speed up the hill at around 50 miles an hour in a 30 miles an hour zone.

5. At the top of the hill the man, his car, and now his coat turn to never be seen again. But then to my left a young man decides to possibly try and run across the street only to stop at the corner and begin dancing as if he is at a rave. Questioning his sanity, and also laughing and enjoy the fact that men feel comfortable making fools of themselves in the attempt to woe the two girls in the car in front of me, the light turns green and the car in front of me proceeds to dance inside their car.

6. Near The Pie a man walks a women across the dark lit streets as if there was a threshold on the other side.

All this in 10 minutes. I was entertained to say the least.

Mother to Daughter

I returned home this weekend from a whirlwind of work and fun during the Indian Summer Storytelling Festival. My mind a bit boggled with new ideas and my body just worn out from all the last minute details, I started my day Tuesday like any other. My eyes told me it was to early to wake up, so I listened to my three alarms for a good half hour and then forced myself to get ready for work. I walked through the doors and began setting up the restaurant and half way into serving tables I received a beautiful treat.

Two dozen lilac roses in a wonderful glass vase appeared for me. All my co-workers wondered who was courting me. I laughed at this because I knew who the roses were from: MY MOM!

I was asked recently in an interview if it was difficult working with my mom. I found this thought foreign. My mom and I have always been interested in the same things. We share the same views to a certain extent, and we both value community and culture and want to give back. Sure we have our moments of disagreeing, but we always talk those through. The only hard part about working for my mom is that others don't seem to understand how one can be building work experience with their parents.

Yet, I continue to learn so much from, and with, this women. She never gives up, she keeps going, she does what she is passionate about, she rolls with the punches, and she is able to control a room of people in the subtlest of voice. So to be able to learn from this women is an amazing gift. And to receive two dozen roses from this women is no small matter. It was a thank you, but more than that it's a symbol of our connection. Like Mother, Like Daughter, our relationship is ever growing. And I find it a blooming masterpiece to call her Mom, boss, friend.

Walking with my Cons.

As I walked to my regular coffee shop today, I stared down at my feet as they padded the cement sidewalk descending downhill. I wondered to myself: How long should one keep a pair of shoes?

You see lately, a lot of things have been going through my mind (and as I'm sure my friends could tell you I have been a bit preoccupied with my life and thoughts). But back to the shoes. My Cons. have been with me ever since 9th grade (though I should say I got them in 8th grade, the same day I received my first "grounding" from my parents--Crystal and I did the whole "we're staying at each others house" bit--which should have been a huge indicator that the shoes wouldn't fit and I would have to wait a whole year to receive the right size).

Anyhoo... these shoes have lasted through running, river wading, choir practice with three girls writing and drawing on them until all the white rimmed plastic was covered in art and ridiculous sayings, concerts, hiking, and well all that and more for 14 years. And the miracle of miracle is--they still fit.

So when do you throw a pair of shoes away? Especially, a pair of shoes that still retains the faded drawings and conversations of three young girls that called each other friends. If you have an answer to this random thought of mine please respond. If you are as perplexed as me ask a friend.

5 things that baffle me:

5. The need people have to tell a server they are waiting for people, when it is quite obvious there are four menus on a table and only one person.

This happens every day I work, at least once if not more. I don't understand the desire to inform someone you are waiting when it is so obvious. Plus, why can't a person get a drink while they are waiting for other guests to arrive. They are the ones that are late, why do you have to suffer?

4. The desire to have a cell phone with you at all times (including in your car, at a restaurant, or while watching a movie).

It drives me bonkers when a person begins responding to a text while watching a movie at the movie theater. Tickets to a movie aren't cheap, let alone the cost of pop-corn and soda, why in the world do you want disturb your viewing experience (let alone those around you) just to write three letters LOL (by the way, this is not a word, nor is it out loud, it is pixelated). Furthermore, when did it become a problem for the human race to have human interaction? It's dinner time people, talk to the person that is in front of you instead of sending texts threw phone antennas.

3. The need to sale a holiday three months before the actual date, and then take down all merchandise the day before said holiday and begin sales of the next holiday.

If you read my last blog, you know my feelings towards the "pink" aisle. Currently, though the pink aisle quickly transformed to pastels. I am now being told bunnies, eggs, tulips, and shamrocks somehow go together. (I think they combined two holidays and it goes unnoticed to the wily consumer).

2. The response of many costumers when asked, "How are you today?," their response is "Diet Coke."

This is not a state of being people. If you must know most servers are talking about you behind your back when you do this. Let's all go back to Etiquette class and respond next time with, "Fine, thank you. And how are you?" Servers like to be noticed and recognized as people. We are not robots responding to your beck and call.

1. The reliance on cell phones and the near extinction of phone calls.

This is a mystery to me. Telephones were invented so we could talk to those that could not readily be in front of us. To find a cell phone today that provides clarity in sound while talking on the phone is almost an impossibility. Instead we consumers get phones that can communicate by text, Internet, e-mail, twitter, Facebook, blog, and whatever else they can think of that has no human voice behind it. Furthermore, text-ing is taking away language. Now in conversations I hear, IDK, OMG, LOL. These are letters people, speak words please, even when the telegraph was the source of communication, they spelled out STOP. And finally when did "text" become a verb?

Roses, Chocolates, Stuffed Teddy Bears, and a really ticked off Server

For years now, there has been a creeping shadow behind me that grows every year at the end of January, which has made me become overwhelmingly aware of the animosity I feel when I pass that ridiculously pink aisle at the grocery store. It's not the cheap value of chocolate products, fake roses, or poorly constructed teddy bears, but the all to present awareness that I want (and care) for a boy to give me a box of those substandard sweets that cost $5.99.

However, I spent the day of Feb. 14th working (the whole day might I add). Twelve hours of standing on my feet serving sappy love birds that rarely go out to dinner, but decided to splurge on said special day, and in turn left little or no tip because they were only willing to splurge on the food itself (do you hear the resentment).

My second shift began at 5:00 pm. As I walked the floor a friend/fellow server decided to attach to my head a Valentine's head band, that could only be described as Care Bear Ears on my head. So there I was helping each love bird in turn, rocking Care Bear Love Ears, and a scowl upon my face, wishing for cheap chocolates from the stupid pink store aisle (knowing none would arrive and so wanting a cigarette because quitting sucks), and it dawned on me:

"Who would have thought that my Valentines Day celebrations would have peaked in 5th grade when Dennis asked me to attend the school supported tea party (which was really a way to teach us manners and didn't have tea but lime sherbet in generic Sprite soda)?"

This thought weirdly put a smile to my face. And I thought of myself at age 10, dressed in that white frilly dress of mine, standing from my desk and getting in paired lines, Dennis directly in the line next to me. We proceeded down the hall, down the stairs, to the small theater the school had decorated with small tables and glass tea cups, and every table was silent, no one could say a thing to each other. We all just wore blushed cheeks and bashful glances.

Oh, those were the days. If only we women knew at the time how great our love lives were in elementary school. Let's face it, construction paper hearts, decorated shoe boxes, and a bit of glue got us pretty far back in the day. And you didn't even have to hold the boys hand if you didn't want to, let alone put on a ridiculously uncomfortable outfit, or kiss the guy. No, with the use of dulled scissors and a paper doily a girl could get all the sweets and love letters she needed to last her until the next year.

The looming shadow eased a bit as I remembered all those treats in elementary school. Next year, I have decided no matter what I do on February 14th, I will carry around a Valentine's Day Decorated Shoe Box to be filled with treats. And maybe I'll track down Dennis for a real cup of tea.

A Smoker's pet peeve!

So I have a question for the world.

Who actually wants smokers to quit smoking?

Recently, I decided I should quit. Knowing this would not be the easiest task, I thought I should easy my mind into the idea. For the most part this has worked smashingly up until now. I have weened two cigarettes off my daily habit for a week, and then repeated said process the following week. Currently I have taken myself from a near pack a day habit to 4 little cigs. a day, and am beginning to feel the full affects of withdrawal.

So I thought I would be smart. Seeing as the next week I am only allotted 2 smokes a day (and then really what's the point) I thought I would proceed by getting the last step of the NicoDerm-CQ patch from the store.

As I proceeded to the pharmacy I just stared at the shelf. There was the first step, and the second, but where could that final phase, the glorious number three be. I asked the clerk and not even coming to talk to me, but yelling across counters she replied, "Yeah there are three steps, but we only have what we have out there."

Really people, really. I mean for Gods sake, you can carry every glorified brand of cigarettes known to man in a store, tax us at ridiculous rates for each individual death stick, but you can't provide the final step in a quit system! So really what do you want from me.

Luckily, I have a nice coffee shop near by that allows me to have the best coffee instead of running home and smoking the whole damn pack I have sitting at home. So I will say thanks to Coffee Noir for their coffee and understanding (their baristas are the best almost like a friendly bartender who listens to all your sorrows and woes).

Start knocking on doors.

It's not that I don't know what I want to do, it's that I want to do too many things at once. This week I need to get cracking and focus on the big pictures. I like my free space, but I mean come on, if you can't pay the bills something needs to happen. So the quest for a career continues, but with new and vigorous force.

When I asked for advice from my Mom, she replied, "Its time for you to start knocking on doors." I am going to take this advice and use it in all my crazy endeavors for the rest of January and see where it takes me. I told myself that the year of "30" was the year to put myself out there and take on some challenges. It is time to do just this, and leave the security blanket of the computer behind.

Who knows, you may be hearing from me soon.

Another New Year and I DEFY Resolutions

It's not the resolution itself, it's the fact that the holiday makes us feel as though one day everything will change. The reality is, this should be a yearly process. So my goals have been written down and the long steps, that are the process of accomplishing them, have begun. I have set myself up with quite a few "doossies", but with a bit of planning and initiative I hope this year will not only bring new changes to my physical being (and no, I am not talking lbs. here, and that is all I'm saying for the moment), but also mental, visual, and just pure life altering endeavors.

As you, that are nice enough to read this crazy blog, know I am still continuing the search for a career. I recognize this will take steps and I have to put myself out there (not just applications) this year. So more volunteer work, presentations, writing, research and networking is a must. Health is my next focus this year, with exercise and altering habits already taking priority. The final major goal, finance. How do I own back my debt? I'm tired of having this stress and its resounding affects on my other plans and physical well being. If anyone has any ideas as to how to take care of credit card debt and school loans please let me know.

Well, for now that is all. With all the goals written down, you should be hearing from me shortly either in this blog or the others I write. Best wishes to friends and family with all their goals this year and I hope 2010 brings us all thrilling surprises and adventures.