Cacophony & Chocolate

It was a cacophony of noise at the Rock tonight. My little feet went to and fro the kitchen while slinging beer and food to multiple customers. Running around straight for five hours can take a lot out of a girl. When I finally had a moment for a break, I walked outside to the calm and quite of a chilled evening and my mind went to the chocolate hiding in my purse.

1 lb of 66% Italian cocoa chips, which will be made into Raspberry Truffles, makes any girl smile.

The holidays are fast approaching, and my yearly cookie party is in only a week. With the idea that I will be able to make one recipe a day, I think I'm in steady progress of making this the easiest party thus far.

Now of course, because I've said this, I'm interested to see what hitches arise. But I think I will play it by ear. I will be that server that can take on multiple tables at once without yelling, but instead of serving I will be the baker in the kitchen, stirring and mixing, measuring and combining, and appreciating a very aromatic house.

Walking back into work, the noise was subdued. I finished working, and was able to sit with a few friends and a beer. When I got home, the chocolate bag was pulled from my purse and I took in a long whiff of its aroma. I can't wait to begin the meditative baking process tomorrow. And in my kitchen the cacophony of noise is a bit of DeVotchka playing in the background, with beaters whirling to my hearts content, and the smacking sound of my lips enjoying each and every treat I make.

.....Pause....

Winter is coming. The snow has not blanketed the ground yet, but the chill is in the air. And I will admit I'm awaiting the first large snow fall that turns everything white.

Today was one of those days.

One you just have to cherish for its grandness of simplicity.

A day that makes you pause, and think of all the amazing things that take place in a day.

I woke and began the day slow, a nice hot shower. Then I saw an amazing image a friend had taken of me (and found worthy to post to his site) on-line. It made me think how greatly talented people are.

Next, it was off to sip on a cup of joe (or as the baristas know: a small latte with almond flavouring). I relaxed with the warming beverage and read to the end of Dickens "A Christmas Carol," as I ate a cranberry scone. I continued the day sitting and talking with a new friend while I knitted away at a project.

Then on my drive home, I saw a man on the street. A man a friend had told me she had seen just days ago. He was homeless (or merely out on the street for the day), holding one of those card board signs marked in Black Sharpie ink. He was so merry as he danced to and fro with it.

It had one word: SMILE. And smile I did.

Home was a "Girls Night." Or I guess I should say, we came to see it that way.

miss georgia b. dyed my hair black, and we gossipped the time away, pizza from The Pie, and a cheesy movie, followed by more talking.

As she left, I felt chocolate was in order, so I entered the lightly biting air of near winter and walked in the quiet night streets listening to music. A song came on I couldn't quite place, and when I looked to see what it was, I laughed.

Sometimes friends you only know for a short while have sent you things you will cherish for a lifetime. I walked out of the convenience store with my chocolate, humming away to the music, and saw a woman sitting in her car and smiled to her. I walked back home listening to the song over and over again.

Sometimes we just have to pause and remember: We are all here, why not enjoy each others company, even if just for a small encounter.

SMILE everyone :)

3 Glasses In...

I preface this with saying, "I have already had three glasses of wine, and am currently working on my fourth." But really, when is a better time to write? (or not to write--that is the question?)

Friends keep asking me, why I keep defending him. The answer is quite easy: he did nothing wrong.

No obligations. My reaction is simply mine.

When so many of us are confused with the direction we're going in life, how can I fault someone for a different way of living?

Truthfully, he got the brunt of a reaction intended for someone else. But he was there, so he got the lecture.

Me and my lectures.

Lectures meant to help.

But I wonder sometimes if the lectures are for the person I give them to, or if they are for me. Besides friends asking me why I defend him, they also ask how it's possible I haven't found someone yet.

This is the tough one. Because truthfully, I don't think it's their fault.

It's mine.

As much as I don't want to say this, I think it's the most truthful writing I will place anywhere (and can only be posted because I'm three glasses in):

I don't know who I am yet.

I'm still learning. Still exploring. Testing.

As much as I say another person doesn't know what they want in life, I recognize I don't either.

So no more questions please. No more trying to figure someone else out. No more protecting me. No more. No more questions of others actions I can't answer. No more questioning me how I can see both sides (I just do).

I need to figure myself out.

No more "time" given to events/people I can't control. No more.

All I want, right now, is to recognize the gifts I've been given in life. I want to focus on how each individual has made an impact on my life. I want to focus on the future and the magic it will bring.

(oh....how I wish I had another glass of wine)  

Still Photos in Motion...

It has to start out this way.

When I was five, I remember vividly unwrapping my birthday present in bed. My parents sat on opposite sides of that twin sized mattress awaiting my delight.

And delight it was. For underneath the wrapping paper was my very first camera. A 1984 Fisher Price: deep blue, with durable black siding, and a large yellow button that let you know your shot was taken. It took 110 mm film and was topped with the gloriously large flash cube.

I've been addicted to photos ever since.

It was also the camera that taught me know matter how basic your materials, a person can capture and create amazing things.

And so, more than 25 years later, I found myself walking, finding a bench, and needing to document the emotions I couldn't control. Not having the Fisher Price Camera, I reached instead for my iPhone 3G and took a picture. The next night, I took a few more...followed by many more on many evening walks.

My Mom says I should entitle it, "Girl Waiting." I feel "Searching" is a more accurate word. For now though, I leave it untitled. Because though I have rendered this film, the creation process is never over.

4 months, a girl with an iPhone and two walking feet (typically protected by Keen): This is what I created.

(Music is from the amazing local talents of the former SLC band Gerald Music "Are We Hyphenated?"