Owning up to Dreams and Desires

At the beginning of the year, I decided I needed to take action and begin working on my goals and dreams. I bought a day planner, but not just any day planner an "Action Day" planner. It not only holds what I have planned for the day, but my yearly goals, and sections for each week that I am "supposed" to write in to achieve these goals.

So it was that at the end of January 09, I began this planner, and it is today (October 09) that I am beginning to review it. The last goal that I wrote down was "I want to own up to my dreams and desires." With the hope that "I will feel I live a good and fruitful life." I wrote that I would achieve this by, "Just Do It! This is the year to put yourself out there!" ...

What was I thinking, "Just Do It!". A Nike slogan, and I truly dislike running. It's painful on my body, my joints begin to ache, my muscles burn in ways that make me not want to move or do another thing for the day, and lets just face it: It is exhausting! I didn't expect that owning up to my dreams would generate a Marathon I wasn't anticipating to run.

But I must say that even with this ridiculous slogan, it is a goal well worth undertaking. We discuss our aspirations in our youth and then at some point either fall into what we perceive society has structured for us, or we hide ourselves away and continue to wish and hope things will change, or we step out the front door and take our first step on the long run that we may not win.

I have placed myself in each of these "either" "or" situations, and I am happy to say that at this moment my foot is beginning to leave the threshold of the front door, I may even go as far as saying that the door is shut behind me, though my hand is still grasping tight. To own up to something is take responsibility, to take praise if all goes well, but also to take fault and blame if it does not.

Like I said, in our youth we discuss our aspirations. I did this a lot. And it is difficult when people I knew from high school, or even my undergraduate studies, ask me what I am doing now. Because we can all talk a big talk when we want to, but it is our choices to act which truly bring fruition. And it is a long run from action to achievement. But we must realize that we don't always have to go on the run on our own.

So here I must thank a few people. My core knitting girls: You let me be me and provide support whenever needed, you let me sit in silence while I stitch or you let me ramble on about my day, worries, goals, tid-bits, or what have you, when I just can't be silent any longer. You allow me to explore new things like dancing, river trips, or just a plain fun night out on the town when least expected. To my friends who have been with me for years: You have gone through the mood swings, listened to the talk, and I hope now you will see the action. To my family: Mom you always put things in perspective. And yes I am scared of success, because with it comes responsibility and it intimidates me, I don't want to fail. To Dad, thanks for teaching me that when you fall off your bike, you just have to get back up again, and if you fall down the mountain at least you attempted the climb.

So here I come, (1) volunteer work--in progress, (2) stepping outside and putting myself in unfamiliar territory in a city I am so familiar with--a continuing movement, (3) owning up to myself and my passions--never going to end, (4) walking that first mile and ready to begin jogging the second--Oh Yeah! "Just Do It!"**, (5) never writing your last goal to be "to own up to your dreams and desires"--IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE FIRST!--corrected.

**Note to self: You may hit a bump in the road, or trip over your shoelace while sprinting the last mile, but never let that stop you from getting up, taking a moment and a sip of water, to finish the race. It wasn't the Hare that won, it was the Tortoise who persevered and kept going. Follow your dreams: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you may land among the stars."