Word, after word, afterward...

Taking the long walk home,
not knowing its locale.
The discomfort, confusion, and uncomfortable laughter becoming natural
Mind on overdrive
Repeating scene upon scene
Dreams drilled to depletion

Wishful thinking beckons to be applied
Nutrients cling on last limb
Madness creates rationality

A story
Guides feet to place one in front of the other

Pursuits lost and left behind as drowned
Tea leaves stuck against saucer wanting milk for cats tongue
Lost within illusion
Stuggling against action
Walking...
Unable to decide, unwilling to let go

Denver's 36 Life Lessons...

If there is one thing I know in life, it's that a person should appreciate each and every year. So in recognition of my birthday, here are 36 lessons I've learned in life up to this moment. 

1. Porcupines can be your friends. 

When I was a kid my Dad took me out to the mountains in Washington, and I was able to pet a porcupine. All those spikes and bites won't hurt you, if you know how to handle them. I took this into my life and recognize, at times, the people I love may not be on their best behavior. I love them anyways.

2. Dancing in public (even if done poorly) should happen at least once a week. 

Having a bad day, dance it out. No matter how people look at you, I'm sure you will smile. 

3. Waking up to a nose nuzzle, from the person you care for, is the best way to start a morning. 

You can't disagree with me on this on. Even if that person is waking you from a deep sleep and the best dream you have ever had in your life, the recognition of a real human being next to you and showing you affection, beats everything else.  

4. No matter how old you are, always believe in Santa.

Every year, I write a letter to Santa. I will never forget hearing the sleigh-bells as a child, and I won't let anyone tell me Santa doesn't exist. 

5. You have to face your fears head on.

I'm ok with not jumping out of a plane in my life. I'm talking about those fears that seem so minute you don't recognize they're changing your daily routine. Take the time to figure out why your scared. 

6. Always listen to the child in you.

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we all knew who we were when we were a kid. Being told adults are responsible-know-it-alls, we thought we would grow into something different. We don't. 

7. Be creative whenever you can, with whatever time you have.

You may not have all the time in the world, but creativity is a necessity. At times you can create the most amazing things with only 15 minutes.  

8. A good meal always tastes better with a splash of spirited conversation.

My family knows food. We know that it is the company you share food with that you will remember your life through.

9. Appreciate your name.

It's not always easy to have the name "Denver," but I do what I can with it. 

10. Listen to peoples stories.

One of the best moments in my life was when I was able to conduct an oral history for a woman of 98. I learned to listen. In merely six months, I was able to connect with a human being and learn how important others life lessons are able to become your own. 

11. Sometimes you just have to sit and watch trees grow.

Take a moment to breath. In this fast paced world we live in, sometimes we forget it's ok to sit and do nothing but breath and take in the scenery.

12. "It's not the outcome, it's the process." 

Thanks to my Dad for this one.

13. When giving someone homework, make sure you can do it yourself.

I reached one of those life long goals. I'm an instructor. If your students give you homework, it's best that you complete it, or they have full measure to tell you they don't want to do the work you assign. 

14. At times you may feel as though you made the wrong choice, all you can do is hope you get another chance. 

The first time around, the probability is that you will make mistakes. Mistakes in the actual choice, or a mistake in how you handle making the choice. As much as this may eat at you in life, learn from your mistakes and move forward.

15. Laughter is always the best medicine.

Appreciate the sound of a true laugh coming from your whole body. When you truly laugh, you don't care what others think, you are merely in the moment and enjoying life.

16. Always ask why?

I've found it shocking how many people accept things, versus questioning and processing them in their own mind. Question everything in life, and arrive at your own decisions. It's ok if others think of it a different way. What matters is that you are thinking for yourself.

17. Find your own path.

Sometimes your feet know your path better than your mind. Let your feet guide you and enjoy the journey.

18. Provide people second chances. Sometimes they may need a third or fourth.

It's not that you have to give everyone a second chance when they have done something to hurt you, but you do have to recognize that you meet people at points in your life and each individual can, and will, change with time. Appreciate the good moments with people in your life and remember that they may find their way back to your life when you need them. Grudges over petty issues are never a way to remember people.

19. Sometimes you're the one who is wrong.

This is probably the most difficult to realize, but once you accept that at moments you might not be right--you learn. 

20. Travel often, and see what you can.

Luckily, I have had the great opportunity to travel. Through my adventures I have met amazing people and seen sites that have inspired much of my writing. I wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't travelled, and I urge you to travel as much as you can--recognizing that journey may only be a few minutes from your home.

21. Use your voice.

As I tell my students, your thoughts have value; place them into action. Even if what you have to say doesn't seem important, it's your voice and speaking it is imperative. 

22. "We've got options." 

Mom you know I love ya. And if I can think of an odder moment of you describing the fact that we needed a sign (aka. a whiskey bottle cascading across Interstate 15), well I can't think of one... or maybe I can, but those times will be for another moment. 

23. If you ask someone for a cigarette, and they don’t give it to you, they may become your best friend.

miss georgia b. you know what I’m talking about here. Meeting you is the best moment in my life. Our friendship holds a very special place in my heart. Thanks for all the long conversations, celebrations, and journeys. 

24. You can live off of grilled cheese sandwiches, or bowls of Cheerios, for a month—but it is ill-advised.

Our life path doesn't always include the lucrative cash flow one would like. Appreciate what you have, and get creative on how to use the minimal funds that may be available to you.

25. Read, read, read… And join a book group.

I love books. As Neil Gaiman has stated many times, fiction (books) allow you to step into another persons shoes, have empathy. As much as I love books, I love my book group more. Actual people to talk through the ideas presented in words creates a whole new dynamic to the story--your story. My book group has brought me new friends, laughter, and interaction. I thank the day when Madison asked me to join. 

26. Don’t waste the fizzy bubbles!

If you're reading this (and you know who you are), thanks for the reconciliation.

27. Radiate in your dorky/quirky qualities. 

You are who you are. Don't hide it from others. Appreciate the fact that you find passion in something and go where it takes you.

28. Don’t listen to people who say you can’t do something.

The hardest lesson to learn, and the one that you have to learn repeatedly. 

29. Be willing to meet new people, even if it means your heart may be broken.

The key word here is “may.” Yeah, it sucks when relationships don’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you should shut yourself away from the human race. 

30. Share your ideas. You're the only one who can.

This should go along with "Use your voice." 

31. Allow yourself to step into the dark, but always remember the light is a mere switch away. 

It is OK to feel sad. Experience all the emotions a human can, but remember you don't have to stay there. It is your choice. 

32. Doors are only shut until opened.

Notice how I used a bit of Harry Potter wisdom on you there. Though our doors may have locks on them, it only takes a knock to get the door to open. You have to be willing to put yourself at the doorstep though. 

33. As much as you learn, attempt to teach.

Being granted the opportunity to pass on the knowledge I have to students has been a great gift the last couple years. The saying is true, you don't truly learn until you teach. I'm happy to say my students are surpassing the teacher. 

34. Appreciate your city, and know it contains parts you haven’t explored yet.

Salt Lake City continues to surprise me. As much as I want to see how a different city might suit me, SLC will always be home. 

35. Wine, and or coffee, will get you through any day.

Treat your bartenders and baristas well.... Need I say more.

36. Celebrate every birthday, and know the next year will be filled with more adventure.

DIRT and my DAD...

So last night, I placed my name in the hat again at The Bee. And yet again, my name was not called. But I will keep trying to tell my story (and I must thank the 15 students who persuaded me to tell my the story to them before I left class). In the meantime, here is me telling my story toward the theme: DIRT. Please don't take offense to the foul language.

Currently preparing for the next Bee, June 18th at the Leonardo themed: The Wild.

Story Time...

In December, I attended (as a listener) the first ever Bee:True Stories from the Hive. As an avid supporter of storytelling, I told myself it was time to put my stories out there for the world to hear. So I prepared a story for the February event themed attachment. I was the first to place my name into the hat, and I sat on pins and needles every time a storyteller was finished with their tell wondering if my name would be called. Unfortunately, it was not. So, I share my story with you here as I begin preparing for April's themed event: Dirt.

Disregard the instructor's misspelling on the board... Instead, listen to the students...

Another quarter is complete.

Each quarter, I finish English Composition off with a quote from Winston Churchill.

The words to follow are my students (taken directly from the notes on the board) with a couple puzzle pieces added to communicate their message in a unified form:


History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. -- Winston Churchill

In the beginning, take control. In order to understand what you can be, evaluate what you listen to. Live your life, and recognize it is through the process of making mistakes one creates the stories future generations will learn from.

Everyday you should challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to get along with peoples quirks. Take a breath when needed and remember some things should be left forgotten, others expanded upon to create your future and the world around you.

Knock on opportunities door instead of waiting for it to come your way. Allow yourself to be happy by letting go of the past. Have confidence in yourself: Speak loudly and proudly, capture life in anyway you can, and enjoy it--no matter what happens.

By maintaining a positive attitude you will continue on the right path. Leave the fear behind and success will be achieved. Take action to learn all you can. Who knows, by doing these things you'll be the one writing the history books.

Words Summon...

Today was a special day. For the past couple years, pen has been placed to paper in a Moleskine Classic. The blank pages allow freedom, unlike the lined notebooks that make a writer stick to uniformity. The purchase of a new journal marked the completion of the one before. It presented the notion I could leave what was written in the pages behind, start anew: fresh.

But this isn't reality. That last notebook contained many of my thoughts and ideas that I couldn't fully form into words. Secrets that continue to haunt me with their lack of clarity and structure. Ideas that never came to fruition.

As a writer, words are building blocks. Words allow the possibility to make the intangible tangible. Words provide insight and decode all that is mystic, uncertain, and difficult.

Brushing hand over binding of the journal, it mocks me. Nothing is bound, no matter how hard you try to lock the diary, the past trespasses upon the present. The words are missing. The wrapping is still smothering what I can only imagine are pristine pages. Life has become a foreign language not yet learned. All efforts to connect block to block lead to a tumbling tower, and I am left the child, sweeping the mess of LEGOs off the floor into a massive bucket. Each noun, article, and verb creating a swirl of colors. The mix intrigues me, but they are liquid with no foundation to hold them together.

And so I type. I type instead as this feels fleeting. The idea not essential to place on flesh of page.

English Class...

A new quarter is set to begin. The syllabus is set and loaded to the required on-line systems. Writing Exercises have been planned and a grading system is in place. In a mere couple hours, I will be faced with new students set to stare me down and attempt to break me of my irrational passion for the written word.

This is what I have to say to them:

You will not break me. I have had those who already tried and they failed. I will always be the crazed instructor who loves the subject she teaches. I will attempt to instill in you the fight for expression--YOUR expression.

You will not break me. I will understand when you tell me you never did well in English class, but I won't let you use that as an excuse. I will show you English isn't all comma placement, but a puzzle that can create anything you imagine.

You will not break me. I will do what it takes to keep you entertained. As much as you may want to nod off in class when the discussion of independent vs. dependent clauses comes about, I will tell you how they both work. Notice how I said TELL. The subject I teach includes stories and poems, novels and magazines.

You will not break me. I fought for what I teach. I put in the hours, I went through the critiques. And surprise, surprise... I want you to succeed.

You will not break me, and I will never give up on you.

Sound Reflects...

Twenty-two years ago a plan was set in motion. It was one of those things early teens do--the parent fake-out. Crystal told her Mom she was staying at my house, I told my parents I was staying at hers while they went off to celebrate their anniversary.



In that evening of young rebellion, and innocence, nestled the experience of my first concert. Local bands took over one building at the Logan Fair Parks. The youth of the community crammed into the building to release a bit of teen angst. Pressed near the south wall, next to the boy I was dating at the time, I was mesmerized by the sound of local musicians who formed the band Water*Front. The notes, riffs, beats, and lyrics resonated further than one would ever expect.

Last night, I stood watching three of the original members perform at Urban Lounge under a new name--Seven Daggers--while standing and laughing with a friend who just happened to be Water*Front's lass bass player. Watching and hearing the sounds took me back to those early days of my teen life--and I realized something: The men in this band played a significant role in who I've become.

Though I don't see them everyday; though I never became a grand concert promoter or critic of music--at the age of thirty-five I'm still dancing to their music.

Had the plan not been set to sneak out of the house, I would never have begun writing letters to them when I moved to a rural town in Utah. Had they not written back each and every time, I may never have started promoting concerts at Vernal's National Guard Armory (a huge thank you to Skeeter for understanding the youth of the community needed a place to go and providing the venue). Had they not traveled to perform, I wouldn't have set in motion creating my own business plan; I may never have realized my path in life was to be involved in community events. And most importantly, without them, I may never have realized my thoughts deserved to be heard--I learned to use my voice.

Twenty-two years ago, I snuck out of my house and got grounded for a week. All I can say is...

It was worth it!

Setting fire to the New Year...

The New Year is the strangest holiday. There is so much build up and then in a fleeting second the anticipation is over and the year has begun. As a folklorist it's almost a requirement to understand why people celebrate each holiday as they do, so this year it was a goal to take hold of the New Year and create significant meaning in my mind.

The last day of 2014 was spent figuring out a great meal to prepare, and as I drove the streets of Salt Lake City, I listened to the radio hearing the voices of strangers across the world and their ways of celebrating. Wishes were being cast into the universe. Somewhere in the east people were lighting lanterns to fly across the ocean for luck, and it made me think of Prometheus.

Prometheus, the Titan who sided with the Gods, created man from mud, and gave each of us the gift of fire for protection and ritual. If anything could be asked for in 2015, forethought of the human race should be considered. Late in the evening I set to the task of truly thinking of the things I want for the coming year(s). I wrote them down and decided to release them to the universe in a fashion Prometheus would approve, allowing the smoke of my wishes to rise to the skies.

As the paper ignited, cheers ensued from my surrounding neighbors. I added my voice to the mix--yelling out a Happy New Year. The flame was quick to ignite, and I watched as my wishes lifted to the heavens. The vapor of their smoke may take awhile to hit the stars, but I set them on their path along with the fire to kindle their reality.