Dating Do and Don't

So people keep telling me I need to get back into the "GAME." This game they are talking about is the weird and intricate world of--drum roll please--

DATING. 

I am not really a "GAME" player. Any one of my friends could tell you I'm oblivious to almost all attempts by men to "hit" on me. And even when the slight chance arrives that I do catch on, I have a hard time figuring out where to go from there.

That being said, here are a few things I've learned recently in my attempt to play the game. Men you should listen up, because if you are one of those guys out there looking for a girl that will treat you right (or at least you could see where things go) here are a few things not to do on those first dates:

1: Don't save the $5.00 by not paying for the coffee or beer she will be drinking.
A girl has agreed to spend some of her precious time to get to know you, the least you can do is pay for her drink. If she offers to pay, still buy it for her anyway. We women like being independent, but we also highly admire a gentleman.

2. Don't ask a girl why she dyes her hair.
As a friend at work said, everyone is doing it. Who cares we dye our hair? We just do. And a little heads up, we try to make it look like we don't so please don't throw that in our face.

3. Don't tell the girl to relax.
If the girl looks anxious or seems to have a wall up, there is probably a reason. And that reason might not have so much to do with us, but more how you are making us feel. Ease up and let the date go how it goes.

4. Don't tell a girl she should smile more.
Again, there is probably a reason the girl isn't smiling.

5. this is the big one:

DON'T EVER TAKE AWAY THE ENJOYMENT OF A FIRST KISS!!!!!!!

If you have to make a girl kiss you (i.e. telling her, "Come on, just give me a kiss."), then you loose the game. Let this happen naturally. When both people can't resist any longer. It's so much better. Plus, if you do wait, then you don't have the girl calling you a jack*** under her breath as she walks away.

So yeah. The "GAME." I'm attempting to learn the rules, but I'm finding there are so many, and not everyone plays by the rules. To Date or not to Date, that is the question.

Optimism and Understanding:Chocolate and Rhubarb

Sometimes you just need to put things out in the Universe.

Take for example my evening tonight:

On my lovely evening stroll, I stopped off at my benchmark-of-transition and meditated a bit. As I began the trek up hill, I said to the world, "I'm lonely." Within a half hour of being home, and doing nothing productive on the computer, my phone buzzed to let me know someone was texting me, but it wasn't just anyone. It was my long lost, distillin' crazy, former roommate, Brendan.

Seattle 2008

I haven't seen Brendan in about four months--both of our schedules busy, and he living in a different city than me. But there he was, in front of my house. The universe listened, and I had a friend to share this wonderfully sweet summer evening with.

Thankfully, I was a prepared hostess with cake for the offering.

Chocolate Rhubarb Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Cake Ingredients:

2 c. flour

1 1/2 c. sugar

2/3 c. shortening

2 eggs (beaten)

2/3 tsp. salt

1/2 c. cocoa

1 tsp. baking soda

1 c. buttermilk

1 c. boiling water

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

2 cups chopped Rhubarb (dusted with brown sugar and 1 T flour)

1 cup chopped chocolate (chips could work too)

Mix all cake ingredients until well blended. Add Rhubarb and stir. Add chocolate and stir. Place in greased cake pans (1 9x13 or 2 9x9). Bake at 350* for 35 minutes or until stick comes out clean.

Cream Cheese Frosting:

4 oz butter

8 oz cream cheese

2 c. powdered sugar

1 t. vanilla

Cream together butter and cream cheese. Mix on low, one cup of sugar at a time. Blend in vanilla.

Enjoy with a long lost friend!!!!

A slight change...

... so in my attempt to organize my life--and everything within it--this blog has received a bit of an update. I mean come on, who could resist the new title, Banter Batter: And Other Sass I've Baked.

I admit, I was not the creative one who came up with it--I'm awful at titles. But a friend threw it my way after dealing with my joshing (Ode to the Thesaurus for that one).

As I love a good quip and I love to bake, it seemed only appropriate the posts from my blog formally titled D.dot's kitchen should be merged with all the sweet cheek I present here. So now you will find labels to your right. If you are looking for recipes just click on one of the food words.  Somehow everything else will fall into place.

Coffee and Conversation

.... So today--as is my typical routine--I headed to the coffee shop to sit on my computer and get some work done. Only to find, that this day it seemed people just wanted to talk with me. Maybe it was my decision to wear a cute red dress and put my hair up in playful fun?

Whatever it was, I had a full conversation with a girl who asked to share my table. We sat for an hour talked about random life stuff. I learned about her boyfriend and her endeavors to find work in phlebotomy and she listened to my retelling of my earliest childhood memory (watching the "King and I" with Yul Brynner) and my philosophy that the more education you receive, the more you realize there is a lot you don't know.

After she left, I set to work and after about a half hour (yes I can sit and sit, and sip and sip at a coffee shop for long hours) a gentleman began talking with me, asking what I was researching and if I was in school. You know all the basic questions without the invitation for a date. I find it funny that if you are on your computer at a coffee shop everyone assumes you are studying for school.

But the point of this story--at least I hope I have a point--is that it was nice to talk with strangers. For some reason we pack ourselves into our little bubbles and try to hide from conversation. When the truth is, conversation is human nourishment, it's education and awareness, it's our nature. And every now and then a stranger can realize all you need is a "Hello" with your coffee.

So I send a thank you to Annalynn and Tony today. :)