Three Weeks and Counting...

For nineteen years, I have called Salt Lake City my home. In three weeks, the car will be packed. The front seat will hold a pillow for my sixteen year old cat to curl up and rest, my major furniture will be stored at a friends house (along with maybe six boxes of books, the other six I feel need to travel the road with me) and I'll be on a twelve hour drive that will be the beginning of a new adventure. (As a bookworm I call this my new chapter.)

To answer all the questions up front:
No, I don't have an apartment as of yet.
Nor do I have a job (again I stress), YET.
I am not doing this because of a beau.
I am not going to where the young retire to stay in the woods and live off the land. Though, the idea of farm to table is definitely something I look forward to partake in more.

No, to all the questions people ask, and when I answer a final question is presented in baffled tones, "So, why are you doing this?"

True, Salt Lake City is my home. There will always be a part of me that loves this city more than anywhere else I go. I began living here before I graduated high school from that remote rural town in the North East. I received my first college degree and met my best friend going to Westminster College. I found many friendships here, and rekindled old ones. I found love and loss in Salt Lake City. I took a leap and was able to attain my second degree by living in this state. I gained experience in all the professions I have held, though none more so than the last two organizations I have worked for. Salt Lake City gave me an apartment I have lived in for fourteen years, and I've become so familiar with the city streets that I have no problem dance-walking around this city until the wee hours of the morning.

So why am I moving to Portland, Oregon?

As a woman who finds herself to be strong and independent, I have always told myself I can make it no matter where I am. I guess it's time for me to remove the security blanket and prove this to myself. I want that challenge, and heading back towards the North West where my life began seems appropriate for some reason.

This isn't easy. I'm nervous and scared (for lack of a better description) shitless. That being said, I'm also excited about what this change of environment might provide. The opportunities. And yes, Mom, I can hear your voice now ringing in my ears, "We have options."

I'm excited to see how I react. I know there will be times I have to stick my neck out. I know it will take hard work to accomplish all I feel Portland provides.

I have three weeks. Three weeks and counting to enjoy the home I have loved for the last nineteen years. Three weeks and counting to anticipate the journey to a new fireside.

Three weeks... And counting...

UAF... You are my Festival Family

Four and an half years... Five Festivals... A family I will always cherish.

Here are a few things you might not know about the Utah Arts Festival:

1. It takes a full year (if not longer) to plan the four day event each June.
2. There are six staff members, over 50 coordinators, and 1,000+ volunteers that make the Festival.
3. It takes a full week to set-up the Utah Arts Festival.
4. Each staff member and coordinator work approximately 100 hours during the Festival week.
5. We have four days to play.
6. Two days to take down (including removing every piece of blue marking tape off the pavement).
7. There's one week to recover, before we start all over again.

Last weekend, the Utah Arts Festival celebrated its 40th anniversary with over 160 visual artists, 90 stage performances, stilt walkers from the UK (Neighbourhood Watch), and the amazing children's Art Yard, Urban Arts, and Makers tent. Having worked for this organization has been a pleasure. It's because of the fantastic work the staff members and coordinators do for this Festival, that I have the courage to set off on new adventures and build my career in a new location.

As I begin to prepare my journey to the Northwest, I want to say thank you to each and every individual who makes this Festival such an experience for the Utah community. If it was possible, I would write individual letters to each and every person. It would take over a year to write the words properly, and I feel each of you would say to experience life in the moment rather than reflect on the past.

But reflection is sometimes needed.

Thank you to Mason Fetzer, for this year's Festival moment. I felt like a fairy in Never-Never land walking through the aspen grove you painted using 3D technology.  Thank you to Henry for always seeing the vision of what this Festival is about and pushing the boundaries of Makers. Doc, you always make magic happen. Dancing to the music at this year's Festival was such a treat.

Tyler, you made it possible for me to experience more Festivals. Thank you for walking me to the First Aid tent my first year so I didn't die from heat exhaustion. To Rich Nicholes, nothing can express my true gratitude for your introduction of my performance on the Big Mouth stage on Sunday. To my Festival family, seeing the rows upon rows of purple shirts for my performance was so special to say the least (though I'm still questioning who was running the Festival during my performance). Rich thanks for always smiling and being there at the Amphitheater stage to enjoy the music. I will always cherish the sound of you singing Supermodel to me.

To the tech crew, the brew crew, the stage crew, box office, earth team, and our all mighty crab crew: the Festival wouldn't be the same without you; for that matter, I wouldn't be the same without you. Art Yard, Face Painting, and Mad Hatter, I bow to you and what you accomplish every year. Each and everyone of you have      made me smile, helped maintain my sanity, and made me realize I can make it wherever I go. You are my family!

Finally, to the amazing staff I have had the pleasure to work with for the last few years: I hope you realize how amazing I find you. Susan, it was a delight getting to know you this year. Your charisma and smile are beautiful. Tennille you are a rock and a friend. Thanks for sharing our cubbyhole together. Amanda, you are a woman to be reckoned with. I so appreciate the support and inspiration you always provide. Aimee, you are a spitfire in the best of ways. Somehow I feel you will always know (you know I'd place this in different lingo--but I'll just wait for the text). Pat, what can I say but thank you for all the laughter, the music when the office got to quiet, and the pure strength to put the Festival together.

And to Lisa. 

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa...What can I say? Your commitment, drive, and passion for this Festival are unmatched. You gave a fellow swimmer a chance, and made me feel a part of a spectacular team. Thanks for your continued
support in all I do.

To my Festival family: I will miss you! Though I feel we will see each other again, know that you are always in my heart. And it's not that far of a drive to Portland.

This is...

Word, after word, afterward...

Taking the long walk home,
not knowing its locale.
The discomfort, confusion, and uncomfortable laughter becoming natural
Mind on overdrive
Repeating scene upon scene
Dreams drilled to depletion

Wishful thinking beckons to be applied
Nutrients cling on last limb
Madness creates rationality

A story
Guides feet to place one in front of the other

Pursuits lost and left behind as drowned
Tea leaves stuck against saucer wanting milk for cats tongue
Lost within illusion
Stuggling against action
Walking...
Unable to decide, unwilling to let go

Denver's 36 Life Lessons...

If there is one thing I know in life, it's that a person should appreciate each and every year. So in recognition of my birthday, here are 36 lessons I've learned in life up to this moment. 

1. Porcupines can be your friends. 

When I was a kid my Dad took me out to the mountains in Washington, and I was able to pet a porcupine. All those spikes and bites won't hurt you, if you know how to handle them. I took this into my life and recognize, at times, the people I love may not be on their best behavior. I love them anyways.

2. Dancing in public (even if done poorly) should happen at least once a week. 

Having a bad day, dance it out. No matter how people look at you, I'm sure you will smile. 

3. Waking up to a nose nuzzle, from the person you care for, is the best way to start a morning. 

You can't disagree with me on this on. Even if that person is waking you from a deep sleep and the best dream you have ever had in your life, the recognition of a real human being next to you and showing you affection, beats everything else.  

4. No matter how old you are, always believe in Santa.

Every year, I write a letter to Santa. I will never forget hearing the sleigh-bells as a child, and I won't let anyone tell me Santa doesn't exist. 

5. You have to face your fears head on.

I'm ok with not jumping out of a plane in my life. I'm talking about those fears that seem so minute you don't recognize they're changing your daily routine. Take the time to figure out why your scared. 

6. Always listen to the child in you.

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we all knew who we were when we were a kid. Being told adults are responsible-know-it-alls, we thought we would grow into something different. We don't. 

7. Be creative whenever you can, with whatever time you have.

You may not have all the time in the world, but creativity is a necessity. At times you can create the most amazing things with only 15 minutes.  

8. A good meal always tastes better with a splash of spirited conversation.

My family knows food. We know that it is the company you share food with that you will remember your life through.

9. Appreciate your name.

It's not always easy to have the name "Denver," but I do what I can with it. 

10. Listen to peoples stories.

One of the best moments in my life was when I was able to conduct an oral history for a woman of 98. I learned to listen. In merely six months, I was able to connect with a human being and learn how important others life lessons are able to become your own. 

11. Sometimes you just have to sit and watch trees grow.

Take a moment to breath. In this fast paced world we live in, sometimes we forget it's ok to sit and do nothing but breath and take in the scenery.

12. "It's not the outcome, it's the process." 

Thanks to my Dad for this one.

13. When giving someone homework, make sure you can do it yourself.

I reached one of those life long goals. I'm an instructor. If your students give you homework, it's best that you complete it, or they have full measure to tell you they don't want to do the work you assign. 

14. At times you may feel as though you made the wrong choice, all you can do is hope you get another chance. 

The first time around, the probability is that you will make mistakes. Mistakes in the actual choice, or a mistake in how you handle making the choice. As much as this may eat at you in life, learn from your mistakes and move forward.

15. Laughter is always the best medicine.

Appreciate the sound of a true laugh coming from your whole body. When you truly laugh, you don't care what others think, you are merely in the moment and enjoying life.

16. Always ask why?

I've found it shocking how many people accept things, versus questioning and processing them in their own mind. Question everything in life, and arrive at your own decisions. It's ok if others think of it a different way. What matters is that you are thinking for yourself.

17. Find your own path.

Sometimes your feet know your path better than your mind. Let your feet guide you and enjoy the journey.

18. Provide people second chances. Sometimes they may need a third or fourth.

It's not that you have to give everyone a second chance when they have done something to hurt you, but you do have to recognize that you meet people at points in your life and each individual can, and will, change with time. Appreciate the good moments with people in your life and remember that they may find their way back to your life when you need them. Grudges over petty issues are never a way to remember people.

19. Sometimes you're the one who is wrong.

This is probably the most difficult to realize, but once you accept that at moments you might not be right--you learn. 

20. Travel often, and see what you can.

Luckily, I have had the great opportunity to travel. Through my adventures I have met amazing people and seen sites that have inspired much of my writing. I wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't travelled, and I urge you to travel as much as you can--recognizing that journey may only be a few minutes from your home.

21. Use your voice.

As I tell my students, your thoughts have value; place them into action. Even if what you have to say doesn't seem important, it's your voice and speaking it is imperative. 

22. "We've got options." 

Mom you know I love ya. And if I can think of an odder moment of you describing the fact that we needed a sign (aka. a whiskey bottle cascading across Interstate 15), well I can't think of one... or maybe I can, but those times will be for another moment. 

23. If you ask someone for a cigarette, and they don’t give it to you, they may become your best friend.

miss georgia b. you know what I’m talking about here. Meeting you is the best moment in my life. Our friendship holds a very special place in my heart. Thanks for all the long conversations, celebrations, and journeys. 

24. You can live off of grilled cheese sandwiches, or bowls of Cheerios, for a month—but it is ill-advised.

Our life path doesn't always include the lucrative cash flow one would like. Appreciate what you have, and get creative on how to use the minimal funds that may be available to you.

25. Read, read, read… And join a book group.

I love books. As Neil Gaiman has stated many times, fiction (books) allow you to step into another persons shoes, have empathy. As much as I love books, I love my book group more. Actual people to talk through the ideas presented in words creates a whole new dynamic to the story--your story. My book group has brought me new friends, laughter, and interaction. I thank the day when Madison asked me to join. 

26. Don’t waste the fizzy bubbles!

If you're reading this (and you know who you are), thanks for the reconciliation.

27. Radiate in your dorky/quirky qualities. 

You are who you are. Don't hide it from others. Appreciate the fact that you find passion in something and go where it takes you.

28. Don’t listen to people who say you can’t do something.

The hardest lesson to learn, and the one that you have to learn repeatedly. 

29. Be willing to meet new people, even if it means your heart may be broken.

The key word here is “may.” Yeah, it sucks when relationships don’t work out, but that doesn’t mean you should shut yourself away from the human race. 

30. Share your ideas. You're the only one who can.

This should go along with "Use your voice." 

31. Allow yourself to step into the dark, but always remember the light is a mere switch away. 

It is OK to feel sad. Experience all the emotions a human can, but remember you don't have to stay there. It is your choice. 

32. Doors are only shut until opened.

Notice how I used a bit of Harry Potter wisdom on you there. Though our doors may have locks on them, it only takes a knock to get the door to open. You have to be willing to put yourself at the doorstep though. 

33. As much as you learn, attempt to teach.

Being granted the opportunity to pass on the knowledge I have to students has been a great gift the last couple years. The saying is true, you don't truly learn until you teach. I'm happy to say my students are surpassing the teacher. 

34. Appreciate your city, and know it contains parts you haven’t explored yet.

Salt Lake City continues to surprise me. As much as I want to see how a different city might suit me, SLC will always be home. 

35. Wine, and or coffee, will get you through any day.

Treat your bartenders and baristas well.... Need I say more.

36. Celebrate every birthday, and know the next year will be filled with more adventure.